i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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