Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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