I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
