wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
