Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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