He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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