the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
