his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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