..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
