They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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