it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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