giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
