Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
