I heard we made out
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he was CRYING into my vagina
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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