you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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