You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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