You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
