Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
