Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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