I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
