I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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