i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you would pick up someone in the library
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
