before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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