The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
