Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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