Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
