May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Less talking, more tequila
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just sucked dick on a ferry
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
