If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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