I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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