dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My penis needs a shock collar
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
