her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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