I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
