So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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