maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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