After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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