My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I got inside last night via doggy door
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
