Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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