So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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