You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
