What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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