Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
