I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
