Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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