Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i came on her dog
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
