First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
