he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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