There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
