I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
