im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
