i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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