i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
