You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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