you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
