the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
