I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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